JUST A RANDOM DAY IN MY LIFE WHERE I WRITE SHIT…

Been almost two months since I started working and these two months have been a hell of a ride… working at an airport I saw the hardest goodbyes, the warm welcomes, couples departing ways into long distances, families crying over their loved ones leaving, and the tears in the eyes of the people we call family and friends and everything else… such an overwhelming feeling it was.

And on this very day, I realized that this is what life is.. it has its own mystic ways to treat you… accepting the way it is and moving on with it is the only thing one can do….

Being a PTSD and anxiety-diagnosed person, looking at all these mixed groups of people made me realize many things. Sometimes it gave me the butterflies that I thought were dead inside, sometimes it made me think about why does people have to leave their loved ones behind and go, and sometimes looking at all the cute gestures that people do for their loved ones just left me awestruck and also sometimes tear rolled right in the corner of my eyes… all these mixed feelings have been a huge part of my life currently as these feelings and thoughts are the ones that made me human, that made me feel like I’m alive…

Having crippling anxiety had gotten to the worst parts of my life but it also made me realize that accepting it the way it is and not putting more thought into it won’t lessen it. Acceptance is the key I read somewhere… but accepting itself is a huge part of life and it’s not everybody’s piece of cake…

I read somewhere:

Is it just me or is it hot?

Feels like I’m burning under the sun

I drink water in hope to calm down

But it just passes through unannounced

My breathes are now shallow

Now comes the chills

What can I do other than accept what I feel?

 

My head starts to ache

Stomach hurts as my vision blurs

Hands shake and I try to deliberate

Whether I should hide away or stay…

I’m tired .. just so tired feeling this way </3

 

And I realized it’s just not only me that’s suffering from anxiety and mental health… there are thousands of people out there waiting to be heard and listened to without any judgment… I always thought why people ask to take deep breaths, calm ourselves or go to our happy place and all as if we don’t know…. We do know this shall pass but it need not has to be now itself… if you’re someone who has anxiety or want to tell something out to someone who doesn’t judge you… I’m right here and whoever is reading this… you’re strong enough and you got this.. if you feel like you have no clue it’s fine to be clueless sometimes…

The last two months have made me a different person… I evolved as a better human being… I started taking care of my own mental health… never thought I could ever manage things on my own but if I can do it… even you can… take your time and get your life all together… if you ever feel like you want someone to talk to… please reach out to me….

Your’s fellow fighter,

NANDHINI

Signing off

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